I've been struggling lately....had a lot going on both at home and I'm my head....
In the middle of a custody battle for my nephew right now... Dealing with a first job and getting walked all over at said job...in my first year of college... Starting to really become an adult, paying for stiff myself, going to the bank alone...I'm thinking bout kids a lot lately, even though I know that I can't have kids, due to my surgeries...it kills me that my sister was able to have a kid, who she didn't plan for who was not wanted at the time, and my aunt can have 3 kids, who she leaves alone to go smoke or shot up what ever she can find...but I who would care for and plan and love unconditional can't have kids.... I had myself for feeling this way I just don't know what to do anymore...I have some really bad thoughts lately, unholy, unladylike thoughts and I don't know how to get rid of them...I pray and I read my Bible I just don't know anymore....
In the middle of a custody battle for my nephew right now... Dealing with a first job and getting walked all over at said job...in my first year of college... Starting to really become an adult, paying for stiff myself, going to the bank alone...I'm thinking bout kids a lot lately, even though I know that I can't have kids, due to my surgeries...it kills me that my sister was able to have a kid, who she didn't plan for who was not wanted at the time, and my aunt can have 3 kids, who she leaves alone to go smoke or shot up what ever she can find...but I who would care for and plan and love unconditional can't have kids.... I had myself for feeling this way I just don't know what to do anymore...I have some really bad thoughts lately, unholy, unladylike thoughts and I don't know how to get rid of them...I pray and I read my Bible I just don't know anymore....
